So, Demi Lovato (you can head to Google to check her out, I had to as I was unclear about who she was!) posted a photo yesterday on her Instagram with this caption:
"This is my biggest fear. A photo of me in a bikini unedited. And guess what, it’s CELLULIT!!!!"
She, a pop artist with over 74 million followers on Instagram alone, posted a photo of her on a bikini coming out of the pool... and THAT is her WORST fear. One based 100% on looks, specially as she, and all pop stars - specially women, rely heavily on their looks as much as they can to maintain their careers.
As you can imagine, comments of support flooded, yet this quote from Lauren Geertsen to me was the most powerful of all:
We’re wasting our fear on things that make us live smaller lives.
Why? Because the fact that fatness and physical imperfections are THE biggest fear we, womxn, have is messed up AF.
THIS WOMAN (back to Demi Lovato, that is!) is an ICON.
Hundreds of thousands of teenagers and young adults LOVE her (and follow her ideas and comments, ahem, like the influencer she is!)
She is a multi-million dollar singer, songwriter and actress... and she is telling the world that her biggest fear is showing her real body to the world without editing. What do you think her fans will get from this? First validation (aka “I’m not alone on this hating my real body malarky!”), which particularly teens struggle so much with.
But then comes the normalising of an issue that is NOT normal nor it should be: That women are more scared of BEING FAT OR IMPERFECT than to ANYTHING else in the world. This perpetuates the cycle of diet culture and beauty oppression that keeps millions of us small, confused, destroying ourselves, starving our bodies, minds, souls and dreams. This post, as well intended as it was, just keeps on the Status Quo of “never good enough as long as…”
Don't get me wrong, I know this is the worst fear of many of us and THAT is the issue.
Our fears have to be about bigger things than our size and weight.
If we should fear something, let that be a positive result on a test, submitting the paperwork for a new loan to build our dream business, an award nomination, a promotion at work, the possibility of growing (or shrinking) our families... Let us be scared of that which pushes us towards greatness, that which impulses our dreams and visions, not minuscule things like how much space we take in the physical world.
May we fear great jumps towards bigger dreams, huge changes in our lifestyles or even proposals that bring up transformations... but our honest and real bodies existing in the world? That shit doesn't even requires our attention, babes.
Remember: We are spiritual creatures having a human experience, don't let the flesh steal the sparkle from your days.
Let's be scare of greatness, of not getting that dreamed Pulitzer or Nobel, of not getting the medal or the cup; but NOT of whether we're viewed attractive by some arbitrary rules and requirements.
Today, as you go along your day, I wish that your greatest fear is around success or failure, about staying sober, continuing your recovery or seeing a blue mark on that peed stick. May your fears are around changing lives, transforming the world or dismantling oppression, and not about the size of your thighs, the jiggle in your tummy or the stretch marks in your butt.
We deserve bigger fears because we, womxn & femmes, are bigger and greater than weight or size.
So, what is YOUR biggest fear?
Mine? Getting tongue tied whilst recording my SuperSoul Session with Oprah.