In a world packed with to-do’s, where we are constantly hustling for self-worth by doing things for others, always saying yes to requests, and continuing to stretch ourselves thinner, as a failed way to “realised our potential”, most of us end up depleted, resentful and exhausted at the end of each day. The truth is that taking care of ourselves, our needs and wants, and centring our lives into us is a big job that we’re rarely willing to take on.
Plus, let’s face it, unlike previous generations, us Millennial Mothers have a whole different landscape that the one our mothers (and theirs) face each day. In a couple of generations, we went from a connected and community oriented society, where support systems were familiar, to a Brave New World where we’re worrying about the effect of social media on their mental health, whilst struggling generalised anxiety (that could affect even the youngest in the family), as well as a need to rock our working life, have a meaningful side-hustle, raise amazing humans, support our partners and communities, maintain a perfect diet and look hot and put together whilst at it!
No wonder most of us these days are feeling drained, purposeless and dealing with mental health issues! We work long hours and take on extras. We strive to be good friends and relatives to anyone around us. We want to do perfect for the environment and the community, and, as we continue to hustle to find validation of our worth, we feel more stressed, tired and taxied by it all.
As we commit ourselves to a performative reality where we work hard and we look after other people, their expectations of us and what we believe society at large demands from modern women, our nourishment it’s easily pushed down the priority list, until it’s not even on the same piece of paper.
The reality is that to do all of what we wish we could and to be able to be the best us that we can be in the process, centring our lives in our happy is the only way forward. In fact, the busiest we feel, the more stressed out we are, and the longer the to-do’s, the strongest that commitment to our Self-Care and Nourishment has to be. We can only take more from us when we have filled ourselves with more to begin.
Taking care of our physical, emotional and mental health is essential to finding ways to tackle the stresses and demands in life with resiliency and courage. Committing to doing things that make you smile, bring you pleasure and joy every day can help you to feel more confident and energetic as you tick items off your pending list. Plus, as you continue making your happiness a priority in life, you gain a sense of safety that can ultimately help you fight off depression, as well as physical health problems.
Are centring your happy in life these days? Are you prioritising your needs, wants and dreams daily? Or are you conditioning them to when you have hustle enough to feel deserving of them? If it’s something that you struggle with, here are some of the things that you can do to take care of your happy.
Find the Issue so you can Address the Issue
Whether you’re feeling full on unhappy, a little meh or feel you might be struggling with something a bit deeper, finding the root of it is key to figuring out a way out. In some cases, we might need help with behavioural health or with a physical condition that needs extra support, in which case, finding the help we need can be key to overcoming the issue at hand. You can always start from a place of curiosity by asking yourself:
Where is this coming from?
Am I happy or satisfied with my work?
Are your relationships bringing you joy or pain?
Is there something in your life that’s causing you unhappiness or anxiety?
What changes can be made to bring you some joy?
Is there a particular problem in your life that needs to be address altogether?
Invest in your Happy Daily
If you, like me and many other busy mothers out there, finish your days and realise that you haven’t had five minutes to yourself, or that you can’t even remember what was one thing you did just for the pleasure of it, you need to commit to making you the centre of your life. The truth is that it can all start with five minutes, that’s all, and then build up to a life curated around your optimal wellness.
A great place to start is adding your Self-Care to your to-do list if you need to. Schedule in a bath, an early night with a book, some journaling time, or a date with your bestie. Start booking 10-minute coffee breaks around your day and slow down enjoy to enjoy these treats. Make sure you take at least a few minutes every single day to do something for yourself, even if you just spend it sitting quietly and breathing deeply.
Ditch Balance and seek Harmony
There’s a myth out there that says that in order for us to feel happier with all the pressure of life, we must seek work-life balance. The truth is, my darling, that this is flagged. We’re not half workers - half living. We’re full on creature living and part of that life has a career in it. So, as you’re doing your work towards centring your life in you and yourself, remember that the goal is to create a beautiful life worth living and then adding your work, career or business, not the other way around.
This means that, as you work on achieving your professional goals, your personal ones can’t be left in the sidelines but also pursued and celebrated. Commit to being effective with how you invest your resources (including your time) in order to have harmony between the work you do and the life you live. Set boundaries to protect your nourishment and Self-Care because in the end, even if you could be doing more, you don’t always have to. Creating harmony in your life will help you experience it from a happiest and more empowered perspective.
As always, remember that you don’t have to do it all alone. Seek the help you deserve and, if you’re ready to make you the priority, let’s see if I could be the ideal supporter for your journey!