Making Pancakes that are Keto Friendly, Kids & School Approved and delicious is another way I nourish the family and my world.
When it comes to Keto living, one of the things many struggle with is living life without their daily bread.
In fact, this is perhaps in the top 3 of the biggest fears my clients have when starting Keto: What will they do about “The Bread”. Now, in all fairness, because I had been living Gluten Free first, followed by a Paleo/Primal lifestyle, when I shifted to Keto bread wasn’t my biggest stress. I knew I could live without it.
In fact, not even fruits were my biggest concern, as I wasn’t a fan to begin with. To me, the toughest foods to let go of were Corn and Corn Products (hello, Arepas!🇻🇪) and Rice (specially some rice dishes like Appams (amazingly delicious fermented rice “pancakes” typical in Sri Lankan cuisine).
However, because I know there’s a big need for these, here come my top 10 bread (and bread-like) Keto-Friendly recipes (that aren’t in my own!):
Sara Louise’s French Baguette: Now, in general, I tend NOT to overindulge in recipes that have Cream Cheese (which is why I’m not a Fathead fan!) but this particular recipe is a winner and one that I might add to certain weeks, when soups are on the menu.
The Best Keto Buns: To be very honest, there are countless versions of this recipe all over the internet. In fact, I have played with one myself and use to teach it in my cooking classes a few years ago. They tend to hold well and freeze beautifully, so no excuses there. (PS: I’ll be adding my version to my Starting Keto Right! Recipe Book for the Pre-Summer relaunch too, so tay tuned!).
Sourdough Keto Bread: This is a recipe I tried before Christmas, as I was looking for options for easy dinners with Turkey leftovers. It’s a winner, super easy, kids approved and (most importantly in my busy life) it freezes AMAZINGLY!
Keto & Paleo Tortillas: Unfortunately, this recipe didn’t meet my kiddos’ palette (all those apple pouches and gourmet fries do spoiled them!😂) but I liked them enough to make a little batch every month or so for me. I’ll probably test taking some of the flaxseed out in the near future and see if they like them.
Flax-Free Keto Bread (with a Trouble-shouting Guide and all!): As someone who shifts seeds according to her cycle (it’s called Seed Cycling and it helps with hormonal imbalances, you see!) I’m always looking for Flax-Free recipes, to avoid overdoing it on the Flax front. So, I was very happy to find this one. The best part is that it comes with a little guide to make sure you nail your Keto bread no matter what!
Keto Breadsticks: This. Recipe. Is. EPIC! Seriously, breadsticks are a great little extra for certain menus and meals and this Dairy Free recipe (which you can always pimp with some Parmesan Cheese if you want!) is pretty awesome.
Best Keto Sandwich Bread: I have to say that this one made #MrB VERY happy, as my previous tries at Keto Sandwich bread were waaaaaay too egg-y for him. I’m pretty sure it would freeze well too, but I haven’t had enough left to test it. Sorry, the boys are bread gluttons!
Paleo and Keto Yeast Sandwich Bread: Let’s say you’re missing the hold and fluff that gluten gives to bread (I get it, I’m mourning that too!😩) if you get yourself some GOOD QUALITY Whey Protein, THIS BREAD IS PERFECT. I’ve been using it to end my old supply of Whey Powder (that I no longer consume) and it’s amazing!
Microwave Keto Bread: You can’t do Keto and not try these microwave recipes. If I’m very honest, I’m not a fan of them except when in a hurry and wanting something quick to put butter on. That’s it! The taste can be a tad eggy, but the convenience makes it a winner and it also keeps in the fridge for a few days… so I can’t be too choosey!
Collagen Keto Bread: If you’re into Keto to heal yourself, THIS will be your best choice for bread, as the collagen will help you repair your gut lining and the ingredients in this one are CLEAN. In fact, if you’re on the Anti-Inflammatory Keto bandwagon, like I am, here’s a list of 30 Recipes curated by the Bulletproof team that will ALL avoiding allergens, inflammatory ingredients and nasties.
There you have them, my dearest Ketonian. Ten recipes for you to experiment, play with and continue your Ketogenic Journey with renewed energies and vibes. Remember, these are just a blueprint. In the end, this journey is ALL about you making things work for YOU.
From swapping ingredients (when possible) to adding new flavours (like herbs or spices from your culture), to changing the presentation of dishes (making breads into more focaccia-like loaves!) this is where you get to be creative, have fun and even get your family involved (God knows my kids have a blast when they are allowed in the kitchen as my sous chefs!👨🏼🍳👨🏽🍳). Make it fun and make it YOURS.
Buen provecho and see you soon!
Between yesterday and today I crossed a line I shouldn’t have. And through this, I caused pain and distress to at least two women who did not deserve so at all.
I entered the space of a Black woman on instagram in one of her posts and, with one ignorant comment, I wrecked havoc and started a process that fully transform my day and possibly my life forever.
As I was called out by another black woman around my self-indulgent comment, I lashed out and from there started what became a two days tug-of-war between my ego and my commitment to becoming a better ancestor, whilst continuing to release poison and toxicity in a space that wasn’t even about me, and in that process I caused distress and pain to these two women who, from the get go, were just pushing me to check my privilege, do the work and respect them and their spaces, instead of just saying I would.
The more I got triggered by their requests, the more I slipped into it, causing more harm, becoming more and more the person whom I often judged and criticised: An entitled privileged toxic woman. It took me a night of little sleep to face my discomfort, and instead of justify the $h&tiness of it, to realised the whole deal, to own the fact that I brought that to THEM. It was ME the one in the wrong. It was ME the one invading THEIR space, causing THEM harm, gaslighting THEM, and denying MY responsibility and ignorance through it all.
Then today, as I blocked one of the commentators who righteously called me out on my BS out of fragility and then went with grandiose pomp to the original author about paying reparations, even though I wasn’t even truly owning my mistakes, I finally realised how I was behaving and decided to NOT do that again, NOT to continue that behaviour, and instead to really show up and do my work.
To be perfectly honest, I have been feeling a lot of shame about this today. I have felt small, useless, fake. I have been reminded of my own shortcomings, my privilege and how easy it is to centre life around me because of it. But that’s the thing, right? It’s easy for ME to do that. To become the victim, instead of realising that this discomfort I felt for being told off for my pathetic behaviour is NOTHING compared to the pain and distress I caused them.
See, that’s what I suddenly realised:
Standing in that discomfort is the price we ought to pay when we invade spaces created by Black People and People of Colour for themselves. This is what I deserved for coming in and bringing nothing but toxicity and ignorance.
Thus, I decided that instead of dragging yet another Black woman into this, asking for free education and salvation from a performative position, I needed to own it. The pain. The shame. The crappiness of my actions… and then I went back to the “blocked commentator” and apologised truly. With no buts, no excuses, because the reality is that my behaviour was awful. Period. There was no justifying it. And she deserved better. So I did.
As we got to talk, I realised that I was lucky for her. I didn’t deserve her support or help at all. And I was lucky for it. She didn’t owe me anything at all, yet she pushed me to grow, and for that I was lucky.
At times like this I realise that the reason why I need to remove the Pretty and Perfect Mask I tend to wear isn’t just to “live authentically” blah, blah, blah, but because if I don’t the chances of me causing pain and sorrow to oppressed communities is HIGH whilst the chances of me even realising my toxicity and potential for destruction VERY LOW.
This is why doing the work is key if I ever wish to become a better ancestor, to be a better example, to truly change the world. Because in all honesty, I can do events, talks and e-books and still cause harm, and still hurt others, and still oppress the same communities I say I’m committed to empowering
So, here are my three lesson learned after this day packed with pain, shame and realisation:
I don’t get to ask for help, I don’t get to be the victim: Yes, we MUST learn, we MUST grow, we MUST do better, but unless we’re willing to pay abundantly to those offering the resources we need AND then doing the work we must to grow, we should NEVER just ask for help. That is entitled, fake and self-centred, and does NOTHING to repair the harm we caused.
Only by showing up authentically, we stop doing harm: The more we maintain the Good Girl façade, that fake veneer of perfection, the least we realise that our self-righteous anger is an excuse to make ourselves the centre of events in which, most of the times WE are the ones causing harm, oppressing and disrespecting others, instead of realising that there’s still work to get done daily.
Those oppressed can still oppress: Flaunting my Latina card should had tipped me off about this, clearly. Unfortunately, I was too busy causing harm to get it. Being part of an oppressed group doesn’t make you immune to causing harm unto others, to oppressing others, to distressing spaces NOT made for you. Just like reverse racism is poppycock, so it is to believe that not enjoying white privilege makes you somehow perfect. This I learned today.
As I continue doing the work, and clearly there’s a lot that needs addressing still, I hope to remain accountable and humble, honest and authentic, open to growth, open to being called off, open to saying I’m sorry and then changing.
This journey, with all its gains and loses, needs to continue and, as it does, I hope to learn new lessons without causing as much pain as I did today. One can only hope for the better in the end.
EDIT on April 27th 2019:
After writing this post over 1 month ago, I have been both shown the kindness of strangers on the internet, with comments, private messages and emails, as well as the meanness of others who, like all online bullies do, use the screens separating us to make it easy for them to belittle me, attack me and try to guilt/shame me into retracting from my words. They tried and tried. They didn’t (and won’t) succeeded.
Tabitha promised a full refund on a post where I commented and that NEVER happened.
She emailed me the same promise and that didn’t happen either.
After 2 months of her scam I know the money isn’t coming and that’s ok. I have made my peace with that fact. Meanwhile, I have received comments from at least a dozen of women who were scammed by her and some even mentioned an FBI investigation on her, including details of MANY different aliases she has used in the years she has been up to scams online.
In many ways, they used my post to unite and come out of their own shame storms, and that makes me beyond happy. It’s a silver lining. Now, I have NO clue of what comes next in the investigations or whatever is going on, but I will continue to stand on my story, my words and my experience. She scammed, bullied and used many of us and we won’t be cornered EVER AGAIN.
A few days ago, I opened up on an Instagram Live about something that up until then had filled me with loads of shame and anger (which I turned into an IGTV Video and you can watch it here). It was very scary to even talk about it, even when I have been feeling like a fool and a bad entrepreneur ever since it happened, yet I couldn’t NOT talk about it, as I kept feeling more and more that the silence was crushing me worst than the shame.
The story I shared was that I had been a victim of an “Online Marketeer” scammer called Tabitha Paganelli, who after promising support, help and tricks to help me grow my online business, ended up stealing 900USD of my hard-earned money in one whooping transaction. (Also, beware of her business the Build and Grow Collective as she continues scamming people, sadly).
This whole thing started with us becoming friends on Facebook. Last year, as I realised that I wanted to shift a big part of my business online, I had started to become more and more and more active on the online world, joining different communities of (what I thought were) like-minded female entrepreneurs for support, promotions, etc. If you’re an online entrepreneur, you know what I’m talking about… and if you’re not, it’s basically a way to network online and Facebook Groups are HUGE at it.
Long story short, in the last 3-6 months she started popping up more and more on my timeline. I would read her updates and comments and would sympathise and relate at times, which as you might know is sort of how we connect with strangers in this new age of social media. At one point, I remember her asking for support to get her weight under control and that time I commented reaching out.
In the passing weeks, her posts changed. She started to share more about her journey as a successful online coach, how she has gain full financial freedom and was living her best life. It was ALL I wanted to create for myself and, in my naïve and overwhelmed state, I bought in. First simply commenting on posts and liking. Later by reaching out to her, particularly about her support with Pinterest, a platform I’ve been wanting to get on forever but still haven’t figured out; and eventually hiring her to be my coach on a program where she guaranteed to get you making 20,000USD in 90 days or refunding you the whole investment.
Too good to be true? Well… it was.
I paid her and then within a week or so she was gone. First, she would blow me off whenever I tried to connect on Zoom, the time zone lies worked perfectly for it as I live on the other side of the world; later she unfriended me and eventually blocked me. Then, as I posted a review of her business mentioning the fact that I hadn’t received the services I paid, she attacked me on a post and promised a refund that never came. That’s when the penny dropped, and I realised this was a scam.
You see, Tabitha has that girl-next-door look, little silver cross wearing and all. She is baby faced, sweet looking, blond and white. How could SHE do this to ME? The shame came in and it came in FAST and I started questioning the whole ordeal.
“Will she attack me if I post again?”
“Will she make fun of me?”
“Will anyone believe me over her?”
“Does she have any information that she can use to mess with my accounts?”
“Can she hack my profiles?”
“Was I that stupid?”
“What will happen to this next?”
Then the reprimands entered my mind and I was sinking into a full-blown shame storm.
“Of course no one will believe me. Who am I to say anything in public?”
“This happened for wanting to make more money”
“I should have seen it coming, I mean, no one believes people online anymore!”
To be perfectly honest, this was truly consuming my energy, which is why by the second day with little to no sleep due to the nightmares around this, plus the stress of life, kids and work without my amazing nanny around and the whole Venezuelan crisis, I decided to come clean and see if that would help me at all with the feeling storm… and I can honestly say, that was the catalyser.
I felt silly talking. If you follow me on any of my social media channels, you know shyness isn’t my thing, yet this time I felt VERY uncomfortable. Yet I pushed through. In the end, after the whole “confession” I was feeling lighter. I still didn’t know, however, that the true healing was yet to come.
Messages of support started to flood my inboxes. From friends offering me to gang up against Tabitha, to other people telling me their own scamming and shame stories. It was unbelievable. It was honest. It was healing… and then came what I so needed. A couple of powerful women in my life helping me process this, the pain, the shame, the odd feeling that was choking me, yet I couldn’t understand. Suddenly, I wasn’t judging me for doing wrong, I was loving me as I was wronged. I let go and compassion came in.
The always wise Layla F. Saad, who I’m lucky to call my friend, walked me through this and helped me go back into wholeness. She allowed me to express my pain and reminded me that I hadn’t done anything wrong, but instead someone had done me wrong. She helped me get the tools I needed to move on from this, not from shame and heaviness, like the one walking home ashamed and feeling dirty the morning after; but from power and honour, like the one who walks confident and full of pleasure back home, knowing herself in charge of life and her choices. This is what I needed.
And so, after processing, journaling, going back and forth and honouring my stories and choices around this, I want to share the lessons I learned from being scammed by Tabitha Paganelli and how will this affect my life moving forward:
1) Trust needs collateral – At least online: I know there are countless of amazing Online Coaches in the world willing to offer people services and products from a place of authenticity and honesty. Heck, I’m among that crowd after all! But there are also scammers. So, in the future I’ll ask for real referrals, if possible, from people I know and with conversations with them included.
2) One rotten apple is just that: When I realised Tabitha had scammed me and dared to face my CFO (aka Mr.B) about it, I said: “Don’t worry. This won’t happen again because I’m never trusting anyone again online”. He looked at me and said: “Babe, that’s not real nor ideal” and he is right. As I work on growing my business and expanding my reach, I will trust again, I will hire people and I know that her behaviour won’t be the bar I use to measure them. She is an anomaly, not the norm.
3) The victim never “has it coming”: I don’t think this one requires much explanation, but just in case, this is a universal truth. Regardless of the situation, victim shaming is NEVER helpful. Yes, I could have not hired her, I could have not trust her, I could be asked to stop giving people online money as if it was my fault, but the truth is that SHE wronged me. I was wronged not wrong. This lesson works for ANY victim, by the way, and we never need to learn to spot perpetrators, instead we need compassion.
4) Check your stories –Race and worth included: As I started talking to Layla and truly walking myself through the emotions that I was struggling to digest, I realised that one of the biggest fears I had about speaking up was precisely around being attacked as a woman of colour if I tried to expose Tabitha, who is a white woman. I felt my story, my “version” wasn’t valid because I was in disadvantage. In fact, I thought at some point “who would believe a Latina over her?”. Checking our internalised racism and biases helps us make sense of the emotions so we can heal them. Once I unmask this, I could validate myself and move on stronger.
5) Showing up is the antidote: Had I not decided to speak up, I would still be feeling used, abused and ashamed. I would still be struggling with all of these emotions in full isolation. It was when I showed up fully, ashamed, stressed, saddened and vulnerable that I allowed the wound to dry and start healing. Shame, as mould, grows better in darkness.
Now that a big part of the storm has passed, and considering the bunch of things happening daily in the world, I can say that whilst I don’t wish this on anyone nor want to relive it, I can appreciate the lessons that I have managed to grasp through it. This allowed me to see so much of myself and my own wounds, not to mention that it made me even more furiously committed to being the best coach, mentor, writer and speaker I can, to serve from a place of wholeness and abundance, not because I need to but because I choose excellence above it all.
Experiencing this gave me insight about the emotions of those vulnerable to abuse, it reminded me of my many privileges and blessings and, above it all, it showed me how much the world needs honesty and vulnerability and how healing it is when we connect to others from there.
How about you? Have you gone through a situation that made you reframe yourself and life through victimhood?
In a world packed with to-do’s, where we are constantly hustling for self-worth by doing things for others, always saying yes to requests, and continuing to stretch ourselves thinner, as a failed way to “realised our potential”, most of us end up depleted, resentful and exhausted at the end of each day. The truth is that taking care of ourselves, our needs and wants, and centring our lives into us is a big job that we’re rarely willing to take on.
Plus, let’s face it, unlike previous generations, us Millennial Mothers have a whole different landscape that the one our mothers (and theirs) face each day. In a couple of generations, we went from a connected and community oriented society, where support systems were familiar, to a Brave New World where we’re worrying about the effect of social media on their mental health, whilst struggling generalised anxiety (that could affect even the youngest in the family), as well as a need to rock our working life, have a meaningful side-hustle, raise amazing humans, support our partners and communities, maintain a perfect diet and look hot and put together whilst at it!
No wonder most of us these days are feeling drained, purposeless and dealing with mental health issues! We work long hours and take on extras. We strive to be good friends and relatives to anyone around us. We want to do perfect for the environment and the community, and, as we continue to hustle to find validation of our worth, we feel more stressed, tired and taxied by it all.
As we commit ourselves to a performative reality where we work hard and we look after other people, their expectations of us and what we believe society at large demands from modern women, our nourishment it’s easily pushed down the priority list, until it’s not even on the same piece of paper.
The reality is that to do all of what we wish we could and to be able to be the best us that we can be in the process, centring our lives in our happy is the only way forward. In fact, the busiest we feel, the more stressed out we are, and the longer the to-do’s, the strongest that commitment to our Self-Care and Nourishment has to be. We can only take more from us when we have filled ourselves with more to begin.
Taking care of our physical, emotional and mental health is essential to finding ways to tackle the stresses and demands in life with resiliency and courage. Committing to doing things that make you smile, bring you pleasure and joy every day can help you to feel more confident and energetic as you tick items off your pending list. Plus, as you continue making your happiness a priority in life, you gain a sense of safety that can ultimately help you fight off depression, as well as physical health problems.
Are centring your happy in life these days? Are you prioritising your needs, wants and dreams daily? Or are you conditioning them to when you have hustle enough to feel deserving of them? If it’s something that you struggle with, here are some of the things that you can do to take care of your happy.
Find the Issue so you can Address the Issue
Whether you’re feeling full on unhappy, a little meh or feel you might be struggling with something a bit deeper, finding the root of it is key to figuring out a way out. In some cases, we might need help with behavioural health or with a physical condition that needs extra support, in which case, finding the help we need can be key to overcoming the issue at hand. You can always start from a place of curiosity by asking yourself:
Where is this coming from?
Am I happy or satisfied with my work?
Are your relationships bringing you joy or pain?
Is there something in your life that’s causing you unhappiness or anxiety?
What changes can be made to bring you some joy?
Is there a particular problem in your life that needs to be address altogether?
Invest in your Happy Daily
If you, like me and many other busy mothers out there, finish your days and realise that you haven’t had five minutes to yourself, or that you can’t even remember what was one thing you did just for the pleasure of it, you need to commit to making you the centre of your life. The truth is that it can all start with five minutes, that’s all, and then build up to a life curated around your optimal wellness.
A great place to start is adding your Self-Care to your to-do list if you need to. Schedule in a bath, an early night with a book, some journaling time, or a date with your bestie. Start booking 10-minute coffee breaks around your day and slow down enjoy to enjoy these treats. Make sure you take at least a few minutes every single day to do something for yourself, even if you just spend it sitting quietly and breathing deeply.
Ditch Balance and seek Harmony
There’s a myth out there that says that in order for us to feel happier with all the pressure of life, we must seek work-life balance. The truth is, my darling, that this is flagged. We’re not half workers - half living. We’re full on creature living and part of that life has a career in it. So, as you’re doing your work towards centring your life in you and yourself, remember that the goal is to create a beautiful life worth living and then adding your work, career or business, not the other way around.
This means that, as you work on achieving your professional goals, your personal ones can’t be left in the sidelines but also pursued and celebrated. Commit to being effective with how you invest your resources (including your time) in order to have harmony between the work you do and the life you live. Set boundaries to protect your nourishment and Self-Care because in the end, even if you could be doing more, you don’t always have to. Creating harmony in your life will help you experience it from a happiest and more empowered perspective.
As always, remember that you don’t have to do it all alone. Seek the help you deserve and, if you’re ready to make you the priority, let’s see if I could be the ideal supporter for your journey!
According to several studies, February is one of the worst months of year for feeling depressed. To start, by mid-January many have chugged their resolutions in the bin and the New-Year-Shine has worn off, so that can make many of us feel like aimlessly living instead of thriving. Plus, after the high steaks of January, as soon as we enter February, we feel the pressure of Valentine’s Day lurking in the background, making anyone who isn’t feeling particularly connected painfully aware of his/her reality.
Perhaps, in your case you know you have a difficult year ahead or you’re in a situation you don’t want to be in, whether at home, work or romantically. Whatever the cause of this feelings of depression, the following tips could help you tackle it and moving unto creating a beautiful 2019 for you.
Let go of Control
There are many things that are not within our control. It can be frustrating when we want to change things that are not controllable, but that doesn’t mean those things define us. Depression is a condition that can make someone fixate his/her focus on the negative aspect of life, making it hard to shift focus to the positive. If something is out of your control, let it go and try and focus on things you can control. Sit down and write a list of things you want to achieve. It’s a good way to refocus your mind and focus on something positive.
Your Environment Matters
They say if you spend enough time in a hairdresser’s you’re bound to get a haircut sooner or later. The people you spend your time with will have a direct effect on your mental health. So, when choosing who to spend your precious time with, make sure you are choosing people who will add to your life and sense of wellbeing, instead of sucking the joy out of your days.. If you don’t have any positive influences, you could attend mental health groups or even a teen treatment center to get the help you need. There will be times when you need people to give you a boost, so having the right people around is important.
Ask for Help
Depression can be a debilitating condition and lots of people suffer alone. You don’t have to hide your depression and there is help out there when you need it. Some people feel like asking for help makes them a failure, but the exact opposite is true. You need courage to ask for help which makes you stronger than you believe. Depression is something you should never have to go through alone, so always be sure to seek out help when you feel at your lowest.
Being kind to yourself is important when you’re dealing with depression. It’s a battle that needs to be taken one day at a time, so don’t be too hard on yourself when you struggle. You can use positive affirmations to build yourself up when you need a lift. Just looking in the mirror and reminding yourself that you are strong and you can handle whatever the days throws at you could boost your confidence immensely.
If your depression worsens, you could benefit from a range of different treatment methods available to people with mental health issues. Contact your healthcare provider for information on what’s available to you in your area and to get assessed on the best treatment for your condition. If you’re finding daily tasks too difficult, it’s time to see a medical professional.