Contrary to what we tell ourselves, we’re not alone with feeling like we’re living with a dark cloud looming over our heads.
In fact, the truth is that this “Dark Cloud Mode” (DCM) in reality can mean many different things, and its causes can be as varied as people there is in the world. Having said that, common or not, we all know that this feeling can be soul crashing and completely uncomfortable.
When we are on full DCM, we might even assume that we alone are the only ones struggling at that precise moment in time, like if our problems are crushing us and we’re all alone with them. I know the feeling, in fact, I believe we all do. I still remember times in my life when the feels of DCM were so strong that I doubted that I would ever be happy again.
These way of seeing our present is anything but helpful, as you might imagine. For one, in today’s hyperconnected world, there are countless people who can happily support you be it at forums or as coaches or therapists. To begin, count on me! It is my passion to empower and support anyone struggling with these emotions, hopefully consistently so that you too can overcome DCM and enjoy your life. After all, we’re still so early on into the year, so shifting your mindset now will surely make your 2019 brighter.
In my experience, recovering from DCM gets easier if we start with:
Finding the Root Cause
As the saying goes, recognising the problem is the first step towards recovery. So, as your working on lifting the Dark Cloud from your mind and life, getting to the root of the feeling is the first step. For many, the root of this feelings come from past interactions or experiences, which happened earlier in life or childhood and are currently causing emotional patterns that lead them to this sense of stress, negativity and anxiety.
When our reactions are linked to old experiences, even the most random things will have a deep effect, because we will attach more meaning to support our, already negative, view of the world. From a common problem like a car accident, we can spiral down to feel and believe life is crushing us, even losing ourselves into numbing mechanism such as alcohol or drug abuse, addiction to social media and others.
If you feel this could be your case, where one negative trigger brings on a storm of negativity and self-destruction, check out this link which covers some of the ways of coping with withdrawals, and how this can affect your body. In the end, our bodies are built to find comfort through numbing and deflection, but this uncontrolled can truly destroy our lives.
Surrounding yourself with Support
As motivational speaker Jim Rohn said, we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with. So, as you’re navigating the path to get yourself out of DCM, start with checking in that those around you, specially the ones you choose to invest time in, are people who will nourish your mind and soul.
To start, make a list of all the people around you. Make sure you list everyone who, in one way or another, has an impact on your sense of wellbeing. From your partner or bestie, to the nice lady who always smiles down the hall. Everyone and anyone goes in. When you have finished, analyse who in it has the biggest influence on your life. Use colours or numbers to qualify if the influence is positive and nourishing, or if instead they feel like drainers of your energy.
Make sure you celebrate all the positive people on the list, even daring to appreciate their role personally. Meanwhile, for those who feel negative and stressing, you must choose to either start blocking from your life or shift your relationship to them, so that you aren’t being negatively influenced. I always tell my clients that, at the end of the day, they are the Committee, they are the CEOs of their lives, therefore you, and only you, can choose who will or will not be part of your life and world and how they’ll interact with it.
As you start shifting your view of yourself, your sense of worth and your acceptance for negativity, you might feel you’re cutting so much people off that you will eventually end up alone. But don’t despair! It is by creating space in your life for light, positivity and joy that you will start connecting with people who want and create the same for themselves and others.
On your path, dare to connect with new people in situations and places that, although out of your comfort zone, feel interesting and challenging. Make a point to visit new places that interest you, as in there you will find people with similar interests. To me, this would be places like gyms, art classes and even dance studios as in them there tend to be people who is active and creative, two qualities I cherish and want to cultivate myself.
Above and beyond, remember that every Dark Cloud will lift as soon as you put your energy and focus on shifting it.